Or are some people just shitty people…
I have contemplated this deeply for many years. I used to have a friend who would get so mad at me and say…
Some people are just shitty people who will always be shitty people.
I believed without a doubt that everyone could change and that everyone is intrinsically good. What I decided for myself is that both can be true at the same time.
Some people don’t change and some people never become “good”.
The part where I “look for the good” now does not mean that I believe in their ability to change or choose stay by their side. What it does mean is that I choose to believe that somewhere, deep down inside of them, there is a spark that is divine. I can do this without trying to convince myself that they will become good. This doesn’t even mean I have to keep the person in my life.
The only thing it means is that I can forgive them.
I can have sympathy for them because being a shitty person really sucks.
I know that this is who they are because this is all they know how to be. So basically, it’s less about seeing the good in them and more about accepting that I will never see the “good” in them while having faith anyway that it is there, and being okay with that.
When you look at it this way, you do not feel guilty for leaving negative and toxic people behind because you know that the divine spark hidden deep inside of them wants what is best for you.
You can walk away with love and forgiveness in your heart. You can walk away with grace and dignity.
Some people will remain shitty people for the duration of their current life experience. I know there’s something good in them but I also know that it is not coming out any time soon. So although I see the light in you, we aren’t hanging out any time soon.
Written by Holly Kellums
Originally published on Medium.com