You just might believe it
Our words are powerful beyond measure.
Many of our parents taught us to be careful with our words.
Think before you speak because once you say something, you cannot unsay it.
We are taught how to be polite and respectful to others. But, in Western Culture, we have dropped the ball somewhere along the ancestral line.
Somewhere, someway, someone forgot the importance of how we speak to ourselves.
That forgetfulness must have become a pattern that we are still paying the price for today because self-deprecation has become a well-loved sport in Western Society — much to our own destruction.
What you say to yourself matters. It matters so much that it can transform or destroy your relationships and your life. What you say to yourself will make or break you.
If you say you’re stupid, you might just believe it. And if you believe that you are stupid you do not believe that you are smart. If you don’t believe that you are smart, you won’t do smart things. And if you don’t do smart things, you will have your self-fulfilled prophecy — proving to yourself and the world how stupid you are.
It is common in the West to say these things in some sort of fun, and one may discount them as a joke. But I assure you that what may be a joke still can affect your subconscious and, therefore, your life.
If you say you’re fat and no one will ever want you, you just might believe it. If you believe that you are too fat to be desirable, you will see yourself that way. If you see yourself as unattractive, you will feel unattractive — which is unattractive. What you say to yourself is so powerful that even when one loses weight, they often still believe they are fat.
It is second nature for women in America to discount their physical appearance for a variety of reasons. As a woman in America, there is always something wrong with us.
Either we are too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too dark, too light, too many freckles, or any other too you can think of. Maybe we call ourselves fat or ugly or whatever to ease the blow of judgment from the world. Perhaps, if we say it about ourselves, others won’t say it about us. And saying it ourselves hurts a little less.
Inevitably, we believe whatever we say about our physical appearance. And, if you believe you are unworthy because you are too this or too that, you will lose your ticket to success in society — you will lose your confidence. Not only does a lack of self-worth destroy your chances for success in society, but it will also wreak havoc on all your relationships.
So, although bashing your own physical appearance may make you feel safer, at the moment, it does not serve you in the end.
If you say you’re sorry far too much, you will be far too sorry. And sorry people tend to live sorry lives.
If you say you don’t deserve it, you won’t. And whatever it is, the world will give it to someone who does.
If you say you are destined to be alone, you might believe it. And if you believe you are destined to be alone, you will never find the loves of your life.
You are not too anything. You aren’t stupid, and you don’t have to be so sorry. So, if you are someone who says these things to yourself and others far too often — like I used to — I invite you to give yourself a break.
Pay attention to the things you say about yourself — not only to others but to yourself. And be honest with yourself, for just a moment. Ask yourself, “Do I really deserve that? Or do I truly owe an apology?”
Chances are, you don’t.
Forgetting your keys doesn’t make you stupid. And neither does not knowing something that you haven’t learned. When you make a mistake, calling yourself stupid or dumb doesn’t vindicate you. And you don’t even need vindication for being human. After all, it is your gift to this world.
Emotionally, we may have deep body image issues. But intellectually, we know it is all made up. None of it is even real. But despite our knowledge, it isn’t always easy to move from the head to the heart. And saying things to yourself and others to put your body down only strengthens the mental constructs that make us feel ugly in the first place.
If you are truly honest with yourself, you will surely see that you don’t deserve to be called stupid or fat or ugly. You do not deserve to live a sorry or lonely life. You deserve much, much more.
You deserve to know your genius and to find it — for I promise you, it is there. You deserve to see and know your beauty. I promise you, you are beautiful. You deserve to step out into life confidently, and you deserve a chance to fulfill your grandest desires. But only you can give yourself that chance.
You can give yourself a chance by being careful what you say about yourself and saying only what you wish to believe. You can give yourself a little more credit and a little more grace. You can speak more kindly to and about yourself.
Be careful what you say to yourself because you just might believe it. And if you believe it, those are the beliefs you will act upon. Those are the beliefs that will become your reality.
Be careful what you say to yourself, so you can create the reality you deserve.
Written by Holly Kellums