I wanted a forever love that could withstand all conditions. I wanted a loyal and undying love — a love that was true when nothing else was. I wanted a love that would journey over mountains and across oceans to find its way — a love that stretched beyond eternity.
Many of us have had relationships with people who we love in a very powerful way. This love feels so strong that it feels like it could heal the deepest of wounds and save the most lost souls. We feel like we could move mountains with this love. And in some ways, we can. But in other ways, we cannot. It is our inability or unwillingness to accept this that leads us towards toxic relationships and away from self-love.
As it has been said, ‘love is a beautiful and many-splendored thing’. When love becomes toxic however, matters can shift to not so beautiful and downright horrific very quickly. All of the love in the world will not pull you out of the terrors of a toxic/abusive relationship. There is a moment inside of a toxic relationship when you realize that things just aren’t going to get better as they are and drastic changes have to be made on your part.
There is a bizarrely familiar and anesthetizing comfort lurking deep inside the sadness and discomfort of a wounded soul; that begs the heart to surrender to its paralyzing grip. The life-piercing pick of maddening malevolence, strums the broken strings of a tattered heart as consciousness begins to evanesce and slip.
Anyone who has lost someone they love knows the excruciating pain that comes along with that loss. Anyone who is in a successful long-term relationship knows the amount of compromise it takes to keep that relationship happy and functional. Anyone who has children knows of the thankless work and relentless devotion necessary to be a good parent. Anyone who has ever loved knows that true love requires sacrifice.
When we are truly in love with someone, we are willing to pay for that love with much more than silver and gold. Love is not a commodity to be bought, sold and traded, but it is a precious energy that costs us our life force.
I believe that there is a gross misconception about the definition of unconditional love. It seems that a great deal of people are under the mistaken impression that in order to love people unconditionally it is necessary to endure various levels of abuse from these people.