Be careful what you say to yourself because you just might believe it. And if you believe it, those are the beliefs you will act upon. Those are the beliefs that will become your reality.
Our relationship with taking is just as important as our relationship with giving. There is as much to be said about the art of true generosity as there is about the art of receivership, but the art of receivership is the one that has been long forgotten.
If you love me, love me for no reason.
Love me without explanation and with no conditions.
Love me the way I am, without expectations.
I wanted a forever love that could withstand all conditions. I wanted a loyal and undying love — a love that was true when nothing else was. I wanted a love that would journey over mountains and across oceans to find its way — a love that stretched beyond eternity.
Even if you have never knowingly struggled with boundaries, you have engaged with people who do. Some people struggle to set and keep boundaries, while others do not respect the boundaries of others. In any case, if you dive beneath the surface, you will find the fear of rejection at the root of these common and debilitating character challenges.
Many of us have had relationships with people who we love in a very powerful way. This love feels so strong that it feels like it could heal the deepest of wounds and save the most lost souls. We feel like we could move mountains with this love. And in some ways, we can. But in other ways, we cannot. It is our inability or unwillingness to accept this that leads us towards toxic relationships and away from self-love.
Dealing with some people can feel like playing an impossible game, in which you are doomed to failure. With every effort, you feel like you are being pushed further back. There seems to be no solution when dealing with negative people.
Nothing anyone could say would make dealing with toxic, negative and destructive people a walk in the park. There are some principles and practices, however, that will give you some extra and essential gear for what is more like a treacherous mountain climb. The journey is still perilous, but at least with the right equipment, you may make it over the mountain unscathed.
Over hundreds of years, this world has given birth to the greatest minds of our history. And despite the old saying, “Great minds think alike,” many great minds do not - at least not entirely.
From Alan Watts to Sigmund Freud and everyone in between, the great minds of our evolution do not all agree - especially when it comes to matters of our purpose, existence, and our favorite of all, love.
There is one thing that most of the greatest psychologists, theologists, philosophers, seers and thinkers do agree upon, however.
Humans are social beings who yearn for approval and what we call love from other people.
Just because something was a huge blessing yesterday doesn’t mean it’s not a curse today. Just because something was right for us last year doesn’t mean it’s right for us this year. And most importantly, just because we find something isn’t good for us today doesn’t mean it wasn’t good for us yesterday.
As it has been said, ‘love is a beautiful and many-splendored thing’. When love becomes toxic however, matters can shift to not so beautiful and downright horrific very quickly. All of the love in the world will not pull you out of the terrors of a toxic/abusive relationship. There is a moment inside of a toxic relationship when you realize that things just aren’t going to get better as they are and drastic changes have to be made on your part.